


Supreme Tangerine

by Kurapiika



Category: Hunter X Hunter, hxh
Genre: M/M, Other, and also kurapika gets hit with a tangerine, crude language pertaining to tangerines specifically, the only violence is tangerines being harmed, there is also crude language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 03:00:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3192746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kurapiika/pseuds/Kurapiika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Leorio, I’m home I got your weird tangerines that you like. Hope you know they’re high in fiber and make you bloat."<br/>Co-author - bureikku.tumblr.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	Supreme Tangerine

**Author's Note:**

> Im so sorry this was a rp

Kurapika walks back into the small apartment both he and his boyfriend share. He has just finished the grocery shopping for the week. “Leorio, I’m home I got your weird tangerines that you like. Hope you know they’re high in fiber and make you bloat. Youre supposed to eat them when constipated are you not sharing something with me babe.”

Leorio looks up at kurapika and breaks his staring contest with teh wall. He had been doing absolutely nothing for 7 HOURS. Is he ok. We dont know yet. “Oh thanks man youre a real pal. I didnt know that but i also dont care so lmao.” Leorio takes the box of tangerines from kurapika and shoves 20 WHOLE TANGERINES into his mouth at once. He stares at kurapika, completely blank. 

 

“‘Thanks man, youre a real pal.’ Is that all you have to say to me after I went out of my way to go buy you these tangerines? You know the policy around here. I had to go to 60 different stores and purchase one tangerine from each. You can only buy one at a time. All I get is a thanks pal?? And that you dont care about my tangerine facts?? Yea well you can take those tangerines and shove them all up your ass and even fuck one idk but thats the only action youll be getting for the next 3 weeks.”

 

Leorio attempts to answer kurapika but because of the surplus of tangerines just shoved in his mouth, only garbled noises come out of him. He begins to choke on a tangerine and violently coughs, causing one of the tangerines to launch out of his mouth and at kurapika. It hits him in the eyeball. Leorio begins to laugh but this only causes more tangerine launches. Theyre flying everywhere and glass is shattering. 

Kurapika is astonished that Leorio, his boyfriend, would hit him in his eye. He knows how important his eyes are. Theyre basically the only ones in the whole world that are attached to something living. “YOU IDIOT YOU COULD HAVE RIPPED OUT MY ENTIRE EYE WITH THAT TANGERINE!!!!!” Kurapika is VERY ANGRY. “AND STOP LAUGHING YOU JUST BROKE A VASE.”

Leorio removes all the tangerines from his mouth so he can act ok again. “Ahah. That was good. This is why i love tangerines.” leorio glances to the box that still had a considerable amount of tangerines in it. He gives the box a look of deep satisfaction and hope for later. He snaps back to reality and focuses back on kurapika. “Sorry about that bro.”

“Did you just call me ‘bro’? After all that has happened in the past 6 minutes.” Kurapika considers divorcing Leorio but figures after he finishes those tangerines things will be fine. Also they are not even married to begin with.

“bro, problem?” Leorio walks closer to kurapika with his hands now on his hips. “This is what you signed up for when you agreed to date me you know but tbh darling im just a nightmare dressed like daydream.”

“Alright first off, don’t even come closer to me I dont even want to look at you right now. Second, did you just quote a Taylor Swift song. And third, I wasn’t supposed to know that because its cannon that I, Kurapika Kurta, am horrible at pop culture refs. Fifth, I think you need to leave my sight please.”

 

Leorio is suddenly mad. “Who the fuck is taylor swift” Leorio’s face gets all red and angry. How dare someone else infringe on the genius line he JUST came up with. He paces the room in a church corridor contemplating what he’s going to do about this “Swift” bitch. 

“Why the FUCK would I know who Taylor Swift is??? Idfk why dont you ask Killua he likes this shit. Also what now you care more about Swift than me, your own boyfriend who you just ASSAULTED with a tangerine???”

“babe it was accident tho” Leorio felt bad. He didn’t mean to hit kurapika with the tangerine. Shit just happens sometimes.

“Babe my ass. I bet you feel bad for the tangerine and not even me.”

“I mean like, no, i feel equally sad for both you guys like no one deserved that…..I’m sorry it happened I’ll be more careful with my tangerine consumption in the future.” 

 

“You’re a fucking doctor Leorio how do you not understand the horrible outcomes of these situations?? Your tangerine consumption is getting out of hand. They are not real. They do not have feelings. Are you like, 5?”

“do you have feelings even, kurapika?”

“I do and theyve been crushed by you and your tangerines. Its obvious you love tangerines more than me, your own boyfriend.”

“Incorrect! I have already stated I love you both equally don’t ignore key pieces of information.”

 

“You know what. I think you need to be separated from these Tangerines.” This was the final straw. Kurapika took the box of tangerines and made a mad dash for the door. Once he left the apartment, he was running down the block with a box of tangerines as they flew out every side, hitting innocent bystanders in the process.

“BABE NO!” Leorio yelled as he ran off also into the street. “I NEED THOSE YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME. YOU KNOW HOW I SOMETIMES CALL UR DICK SUPREME TANGERINE IN SEX WELL ITS BECAUSE I CANT LIVE WITHOUT THEM OK I NEED BOTH PLS COME BACK BABY COME BACK” 

Kurapika, still running, shouted back at the other male. “I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN YOU CALL MY DICK SUPREME TANGERINE! IT MAKES ME FEEL SELF CONSCIOUS!!” Bystanders were now looking at Kurapika as he stopped and turned around to speak to Leorio again directly. “ITS ONE OR THE OTHER, BABE.” A single tear rolled down the Kurta’s cheek.

Leorio stood there in silence, intently looking back at kurapika. He too, had a tear running down his face, multiple tears actually he was fucking sobbing. “I….I choose you kurapikachu…” 

“Oh, Leorio……. I dont know why I ever doubted you!” Kurapika tossed the box of Tangerines into the street where they were quickly hit by a car and all the small tangerines screamed much to Kurapikas delight. “I knew you’d choose me. Why did I even doubt your love.” Kurapika threw his arms around Leorio and brought him into an embrace. (thats not even grammatically correct im sure)

Leorio sniffled as he bid farewell to the tangerines forever. He squeezed kurapika tightly in that embrace, secretly wishing it were a tangerine that he was hugging. “I’m glad everything’s okay now bae…. ily” 

“I am too…ily babe. We should go back home now though youre only wearing boxers with tangerines on them, dear. Its a little embarrassing.”

Leorio looked down. “Tru.” He grabs kurapika’s hand as he begins walking back to the apartment with him. “Let’s hurry back.”

The end


End file.
